One Dead Rat

the rat

laid in the middle of the sidewalk
arms straight out
paws wide open reaching for the sun
eyes staring blindly out
at a world that had no feeling
no forgiveness
no tender mercy for him
the rat
was dead
it was hard to say how he met his demise
there was not a mark upon him
he looked perfect
as innocent as a newborn baby
pretending to sleep
a game of cat and mouse
the playfulness of a young squirrel
away from his mother for the first time
it was true that the rat
was dead
but how?
looking at the perfection of what he was
I could not fathom
what killed him
How alone he was
how exposed
trapped on the surface of the world
he dwelled in
perhaps that's what killed him
a stunning realization
that there was no way out
no way back in
no way to retrieve all that was lost
ending his life in a moment
a flash
a flicker of the nose
a last blink of the eye
a willful abandonment of his life
of struggle
and willful determination
evaporated with a  cry to the moon
flailing to the rising sun
how many countless more
have gone before him
how many disparate souls
to follow
the rat
was dead

© 2012~SophieD

Illumine

• Why don't you ever seek me out
  when you are moving along the night streets
  along the paths of here I am?

  
  

  I like walking in darkness
  alone with someone who is alone
  eyes to the sky
  silent
  hoping to avoid the sleeping masses
  that lay huddled
  in rags and dirty discarded soiled sleeping bags
  on the cement sidewalks they call home

  
  

  I look to the trees
  whose branches take on another form
  waving in the slight cool wind
  that blows in from the restless ocean
  Murmers of life from another place
  some other time

  
  

  I know you have quietly passed by
  wanting
  hesitating
  thinking inwardly of a question
  to which you fear any reply.

  
  

  For that could lead to the path of who knows where
  that might end at perhaps forever

  
  

  ©2012~SophieD 

Nexus

Waiting for the next line
Life as is on the fringe, the edge
the verge of something

He looked at me and said:
"You are so free...without inhibitions.
You scare me."

I don't understand your nuances yet...
but i will.

"You."  he said. "You are an angel.
I am talking to an angel. Me?
I'm just trying to get my life together."

Be nice to me.
Tell me everything is going to be alright.
If it's not the truth.
Lie to me (like this was the only time.)
It makes me feel as if I am doomed.

As he gazed at me, eyes dewy from narcotic reverie,
I said, " You are trapped in a woman surrounded by women."
Morpheus wept.

"You are a chemical imbalance" he replied
"but then, all humans are."

They are all drunks and junkies and eternal losers
these men I like. I am not a forever kind of woman.

who could stay beside me long enough to spend forever with?

He looked at me
and said with an air of complete bewilderment:
"I thought I knew what you were all about. But
you are not what I had you figured out to be at all."

Waiting for reaction where there is none.

We are complete rational insanity
That makes the two of us sane. (Doesn't it?)
We are all just moments pieced together
trying to make something whole.
Life is tough. Love.

Love still lingers

© 2009~SophieD

Sun Dreams

Never mind the darkened past 

The pains and yearnings of long ago 

Never mind the broken promises and dreams

 that have long turned to dust 

Forget the fragile hearts

 including mine 

that you've broken 

and the love you so carelessly threw away 

While walking upon your illusion strewn path 

Time's folly quickly fades away 

You remain my sun, my shining sun
Nestled deep within my soul

 Dangerously alluring to gaze upon 

so glorious, bright and warm 

But here is the part of you

 that breaks my heart 

You are impossible to touch.

© 2012~SophieD

ZombySlayerMrDarcy

Trick the Gods
ZombySlayerMrDarcy
Trick them. Raise your hooves
above the rain soaked dirt track
and fly with the Santa Ana Winds
Don't hesitate
ZombySlayer Mr Darcy
Don't let your jockey look awry
or hold you back
But fly

I hear the thundering of the horses
behind you
Moving fast, nostrils flared
Veins rising through skin
forming throbbing designs on silken coats
Manes waving in the wind
A beautiful sight to behold

As they turn for the finish line
I do not see the majestic mountains
or the cloudless sky
or any other horse
but you, ZombySlayerMrDarcy
You who ran hard to the end
who tricked the Gods.
Who was proudly victorious for himself
and for me at 16-1


© 2012~SophieD

Truth in fable

There she stood
frozen
looking at her reflection that stared back vacuously
She was still a thing of beauty
who appreciated culture and the fine things
that only money could buy
although she came from none to call her own
She clung to the first man who could
temporarily ignoring his ugliness
and then
she had an ugly twisted child
A thought to be fruitful adventure
which left her more barren than any thought she could be
she stood frozen
trying to think of how it came to be
that she, the image of perfection
could be surrounded by so much that was not
But like most things meant to be desired
and admired
for their beauty
She was empty and unable to think.



~2012 SophieD

When I opened my eyes

I was between

and


I looked up and

a dream was realized.



© 2011~SophieD

Moments

The eye of God is always watching.
We sometimes forget.
Or do not believe.
But
He is always there.
Silent, obscure
Hidden in the clouds
Flying as the wind
Flowing as the water
An eagle perched on a mountain top
That proverbial fly on the wall
The eye of God is ever watchful
Praying for us all.






© 2011 ~SophieD

The Distant Past

Oh youth
you call out to me
with all your quiet terror
whispering
seductively
the turning points of my past
my other lives.......

~SophieD

Breathe

breathe
i tell myself
i am forgetting to
breathe
my arm aches
as i wipe the sweat from my face
why bother
it immediately reappears
it is hot
i am feverish
breathe

sweat spoke silence
i reaching for what aches
trying to capture the lies,
our lies
the words moist they decieve
vile lies, i sweat those lies,
remembering
how forgetting tears into our souls

breathe silence breathe
i of warm lies
might appears it reappears as lips inviting
bite do bite on things not meant.
empty words
that say we should not face
why

silence

breathe in deep with lips inviting
those lips that expel those lies,
vile lies


© 2011~SophieD

Perfect

It was a foggy sunlit morning.
When the sun's rays make their way
past darkened clouds exposing the
mist that floated in the air.
A day like all the others.

Like classical music with a motorcycle beat
and a narration of Korean on the telephone

wave wave wave goodbye to everything that you
indifferently embraced in your past
whisper instead to the present your future
that was waiting always meant to be.

Yours was a plump and happy goddess
long curls falling over stretched peach skin
her smile only a hint of the mirth which resides within

There was a hard short rain. It came fast
and left strange patterns in the street
A ritual taken from the kingdom of the saints

Pray for me you of steel gray eyes
back as straight as your morals
a definition of you as a transformed man

from a trembling youth and naive young man
to the hardened confused creature that stands before me.

Let us not speak of religion or people or love
or notice the shadows cast down by the past
But stand in wait for the next dawning of a day

that was as perfect as the next.


© 2010~SophieD

Racoon

He was lying in the street
Looking like a sleeping prince
except for the two brown red streaks
that ran from his head
to the gutter

The sky would not be so dark
were it not for the clouds

But on that morning
it was bright and blue
And as I stepped out
from between two old parked cars
to jaywalk to the other side
I saw him lying there
like a dreaming angel
plump, with a faint smile
that enveloped his face

Except for the blood
that had dried upon his forehead

He lay forever asleep
upon the oil stained cement
Dreams lost
Breath drained

I felt nothing
that was perceptible to the eye
But my heart stopped
for a minute
I think I remember

The past lays cold and unfeeling
in the past
And we are stuck with
what we are stuck with

Studying my reflection
I become paralyzed by my silence.

© 2010~SophieD

Beautiful

He was beautiful as a dark sun
His eyes warm and liquid
with a glow that could melt
the hardest of hearts
His full lips held the promise
of a love unknown.

She keeps her eyes glued to the sky
watching the planes
knowing he is not coming.....or going
Remembering his face, handsome
glowing in the brilliance
of the light of day.

The angels pass over her
floating to a requiem
that only they can hear

She thinks of his heart
which burns with a fiery passion on the outside
but at the core is ice cold
And she sighs,
pouting
sadly smiling
at the futility of it all


© 2010~SophieD

BeautifulBad Omen Day

BeautifulBad omen day

I walk
accosted by ghosts living dead.
black haze intuding on white wisp of dreams

smoking
a meditation cigarette
the first of one too many
thinking about
what I have been
thinking
something different than unusual
hints the influence echoes of the streets

The memory of you as I get lost in your image-ination
stikes the soul as it is tender
that ache that loves immersed in the loss of you
where the heart does not grow or expand
but is annihilated by the constant pounding
compelling unavoidable reminder that its purpose
was to beat for you.


Wait. It was my perception that got me into this to begin with.

There was unrest among the natives
the girl with no shoes (they make her cry)
Dressed in white soiled by the streets
lay on the sidewalk as the cop asked her where she lived
Here, she screamed, as she rolled on the sidewalk
Or somewhere else for some change and a cigarette.

The onlookers laughed, Noone obliged.

they devoured want still want -
an omen of a nature which partakes of no change
happiness a weakness something sentimental once lived Here,
See a spare view on airflow following those who use her

into not human.

whispers shape the place there where you are not.
taunting
Is there such a thing as a spare cigarette?
her mean laughter moves through the streets where she lays a whore.

Existence exists to trample hearts, crush souls

I cut down the didn't follow path
where the world is still breathing.
finches fly free

Why would anyone lock them in a cage?


© 2009~SophieD

Love.... in the most perfect way

The man with graveyard eyes looked blank and said
There is a woman who cleans toilets
somewhere in the deserts of California

She often sees the Messiah
while making a living in last chance gas stations
on her knees.

I could see he was trapped alone
within the privacy of his own impulses

You are my saviour he said.
I have been looking everywhere.
I arrive nowhere and I meet you here.
On a rundown deserted street corner
at the appointed time of desolation.

the embodiment of false humility
eyes cast downward
His body shrugged with insecurity.
The Gods must be angry......he whispered

Jesus punched me in the face today
It was really a tap on the brain
But when he does it. well,
It leaves a mark

Sad truths imparted often incur trifling problems
But I knew what needed to be said:
Jesus is not who he pretends to be

He laughed
it was like sunshine on the edge of hatred
at the waters of bubonic bliss

with tear soaked vocal cords he said
I must be into bondage...
hard to explain without any form of visuals
freaks me out I am a disciple of discipline

the key to understanding that thing
that can mean so many things.

Usually something else.

You are my saviour he echoed
I don't know what I would have done
If you hadn't been here NOW

(These singular moments are meant to be
as stretching to forever always is.)

Infinite solitary eternities

grounded by reality
trapped in the physicality of nothing
I smiled

if he only knew me



© 2009~SophieD

nexus

Waiting for the next line
Life as is on the fringe, the edge
the verge of something

He looked at me and said:
"You are so free...without inhibitions.
You scare me."

I don't understand your nuances yet...
but i will.

"You." he said. "You are an angel.
I am talking to an angel. Me?
I'm just trying to get my life together."

Be nice to me.
Tell me everything is going to be alright.
If it's not the truth.
Lie to me (like this was the only time.)
It makes me feel as if I am doomed.

As he gazed at me, eyes dewy from narcotic reverie,
I said, " You are trapped in a woman surrounded by women."
Morpheus wept.

"You are a chemical imbalance" he replied
"but then, all humans are."

They are all drunks and junkies and eternal losers
these men I like. I am not a forever kind of woman.

who could stay beside me long enough to spend forever with?

He looked at me and said with an air of complete bewilderment:
"I thought I knew what you were all about. But
you are not what I had you figured out to be at all."

Waiting for reaction where there is none.

We are complete rational insanity
That makes the two of us sane. (Doesn't it?)
We are all just moments pieced together
trying to make something whole.
Life is tough. Love.

Love still lingers

© 2009~SophieD

Gravitation

I thought we were all on the verge
of a nervous breakdown
For someone so tied up you are beyond out of control
with anyone, any where, why or how
there is never a reason.
He saw you consumed by his will
the fiery tumultuous ice cold volcano

We exchange laughter on the edge of hysteria
sitting together thinking under the pain
the lies tiny injustices that flow through blood
making our veins one truth
so we smile when it seems most inappropriate to do so.
those times when we should
I'm compulsive
Like I said
My life is an open shut book
some of the chapters are obscure
but it's my truth without flinching
Reality. I live it.
If I merely judged a man by what came out of his mouth
I'd be in big trouble.


We screamed at each other in public places
A romantic notion of an excuse to say fuck you
but what we meant was fuck this world
that is so devoid of life, of soul
there is no emotion anymore
We screamed at each other
same words, same thoughts
and we liked it.

There was no beginning
we never told each other what to think
both of us were already there
in some sort of unsettling happiness.
We understood each other.

© 2009~SophieD

In truth,
the only time I have ever slept with a Poet
is when I have slept alone...


It is funny those things we are forced to remember
and those which we are compelled to forget

I don't think we should talk about love.

lovemedon'tlovemedon'tlovememememedon'tlovelovelove
don'tdon'tlovedon'tlovedon'tlovemelovemelovemelove
don'tlovemedon'tlovelovelovememeloveme

I don't think that is a place that either of us are at,
Have we ever been there?
If I tell you I have love in my heart
and I believe. I believe
But my mind betrays me. Was it ever really there?
I can't tell you the answer.
I can only show you where we are.
Here, love is not here.
And if I hurt you. If I crush you
If I walk away. WHat would you call that?
That is the mind screaming to stay away.
Stay. Go away. Stay.
Don't love me. Love me. ME,
We live our lives the best we can.
I suppose the only way possible.
And in spite of everything we try to create something
that has meaning. Means something.
To me it doesn't matter for what.
It just is for the sake of is.
All it is are my thoughts
and thoughts are just the mind's way
of trying to define reality.
So you want to know what mine is?

Read my mind.


©2009~SophieD

veridicality

What shall i tell you?
Anything but the truth.

He walked behind me and said:
i can't believe
how honest you are about your life.
And he laughed in a strange way
that i did not understand
even though i did.
and he turned his face away so i could see no expression
just an ear turning red made more intense by the silver blonde
pulled away from his fragile pale skin
braided crooked and tight against the sun worn creases of the nape
of his slender neck resting tenuously upon strong shoulders
that slumped from the weight of his life
he laughed in a way that faded into the hot still air
the mirthless sound getting lost in the quiet of a dying day
In that silence he suddenly turned
and looked deep in my eyes with angry piercing black pupils
surrounded by the deepest blue of a cloudless summer sky
that glowed with the intensity of a nuclear explosion
We were locked in that moment that seemed like forever
His angry defiance at the world met with my own...
a melancholic smile acknowledging the truth

a scream filled the air from nowhere collapsing the vortex
the moment was broken
there was no meaning left to be found anywhere
but it did not matter. we didn't care.

we sat back wordlessly
watching the flames burn to dust
when night fell the universe stopped the insult
and mercifully ceased to exist

©2009~SophieD